I start feeling guilty about climate change and how it's definitely not natural for a New York winter mens shearling jacteks to be this mild, and suddenly I need to go home and, like, watch a documentary on global warming or something to soothe my nerves. (If you've never passed out on the couch to the dulcet tones of Al Gore waxing doom-special about the planet on a TV in the background, don't talk to me or my son ever again.)

Why am I thinking about this? Because it's about to be fucking freezing out, and if you want avoid the type of coat-on-coat action rapper and noted layering enthusiast Lil Uzi Vert describes with glee, it's time you started thinking about copping a proper winter coat. And guess what? It ain't all "Canada Goose this" and "Canada Goose that" (although, okay, yes—the brand makes one hell of a parka). The ideal winter coat should be warm. It should protect you from wind, snow, sleet, and all sorts of nasty weather. And it should look halfway decent doing it. So much so, in fact, that you won't look forward to those atypically warm days in the slightest.

Sound like a tall order? Worry not. Because we tracked down some of the best options to buy now, long before that neighbor you secretly hate has the chance to scoop the one you had your eye on—ruining it for you forever—and you're forced to call an audible and go with a different choice in a moment of desperation. Don't let him have the last laugh. Cop a winter coat now and get the jump on Jason from the apartment down the hall.